Setting Boundaries as a B&B Owner

A few years ago, when I ran a webinar on staying happy while running a B&B, I already knew what I enjoyed (and didn’t enjoy) about owning a bed and breakfast. But I wanted to hear from other B&B owners—what were their experiences?

I sent a survey to people who had attended my course and were already running their B&Bs. I asked them how happy they were, what they loved about the business, and what they found challenging. Then, I asked what advice they would give to aspiring B&B owners.

Whilst it’s something I discuss in the course, I was still quite surprised that the overwhelming response was -  Set clear boundaries in your business.

If you’re just starting out on your B&B journey and feeling overwhelmed, my mini-workshop on how to start a B&B is the perfect first step. It covers most of the questions that aspiring B&B owners have before they dive into B&B ownership, including whether it's the right step for you and your family. And if you’re ready to take things further, my full course dives deep into everything from marketing to managing your business with confidence. Visit Bed and Breakfast Academy to learn more and take the next step toward your B&B success!

Why Setting Boundaries is Essential

Boundaries help B&B owners maintain work-life balance, reduce stress, and ensure smooth operations. They fall into two key categories: physical boundaries and non-physical boundaries (such as check-in policies and guest expectations).

Physical Boundaries: Creating Private Space in Your B&B

 One of the first things to consider when running a bed and breakfast is how much of your home you’re willing to share with guests. Some B&B owners are happy to have guests in their kitchen or lounge, while others prefer clear separation between private and guest areas.

After running a B&B for 17 years, I found having a private space became increasingly important to me. Interestingly, even if you start off feeling comfortable sharing parts of your home with guests, your feelings may change over time. At the beginning, you might be happy to serve breakfast in your family kitchen or allow guests to use shared areas, but as the years go by, you may crave more privacy.

That’s why it’s important to design your B&B space with flexibility in mind from the start. Consider how your needs might evolve and build in adaptable solutions, such as:

•  Keeping your family’s sitting area separate from guest spaces
•  Restricting guest access to your kitchen
•  Locating your personal bedrooms away from guest rooms
•  Fencing off part of your garden for private use
•  Having separate guest and owner entrances if possible

I’ve known B&B owners on both ends of the spectrum—one friend happily served breakfast to guests in the family kitchen, while another operated a B&B where guests had to walk through their private lounge and kitchen to access a shared bathroom.

When planning your B&B setup, take into account your personality, the needs of other family members, and how you may feel about sharing spaces long term. This is especially important if you have young children, pets, or dependent relatives in the home.

If you own pets, find out what you need to consider before running a B&B >> Running a B&B and Owning a Dog

Non-Physical Boundaries: Check-In Times and Guest Expectations

 Another crucial boundary is check-in and check-out times. Many new B&B owners, having experienced inflexible check-in times themselves,  start with very flexible check-in policies, only to realise the impact it has on their time and well-being.

One couple who took my course initially thought my check-in times were too restrictive. Three months into running their own B&B, they had adopted the exact same policy!

Having clear check-in and check-out times ensures:

•  Guests know when to arrive and depart
•  You have time to clean rooms and run errands
•  Your personal time isn’t constantly interrupted

Having times when guests are required to check in and check out of the B&B, and  guidelines about when they can contact you, is important for both the smooth running of the business and for your well being as a B&B owner.

It’s especially important if you’re running the B&B on your own. One owner I knew had to dash to the local Spar at 10pm for breakfast ingredients. She’d been stuck waiting in all day for guests who’d requested an early check-in but didn’t turn up on time (which happens more often than you’d think!)—meaning she never got the chance to pop to the shops.

I lost track of how many social events, dog walks, and school functions I missed because guests didn’t turn up when they said they would. But once I introduced my check-in policy, early and very late arrivals became a rarity.

My Check-In and Check-Out Policy When I Ran My B&B

•  Check-in: 16:00 - 19:00 (guests had to notify me if arriving later)
•  Check-out: 10:30
•  No contact after 21:00 unless it was an emergency

A B&B friend of mine regularly received midnight calls from guests asking for champagne or room service—despite not offering it! Setting boundaries from the start prevents unrealistic expectations.

Communicating B&B Boundaries to Guests

Balancing the needs of guests with my own personal needs was often tricky. It wasn’t always easy to say no in a “customer is always right, and if they don’t get what they want, there’s always Tripadvisor” culture. Like most B&B owners, I was very customer-focused and wanted to provide the best experience for my guests.

I explained my check-in time policy by saying that we needed time to get the rooms ready, shop for supplies, and walk the dogs. I also mentioned that we occasionally had social commitments, so we weren’t always on-site, and we wanted to ensure someone was there to check guests in.

Explaining this in a friendly way helped guests understand that we weren’t a big hotel with a 24-hour reception—that the person checking them in at midnight was the same one who was up at 6am cooking their breakfast and then cleaning their room!

I also found that using social media to show I had a life outside the B&B—whether it was walking the dogs, meeting friends, or just enjoying some downtime—helped reinforce the idea that I wasn’t permanently on standby for check-ins.

It was also good practice to send an email a few days before arrival, reminding guests of directions, restaurant bookings, and check-in times. Many had booked well in advance and had either misplaced the original email or simply forgotten the details.

What Happens When Guests Ignore Your Boundaries?

You put your boundaries in place, explained why they were there, thought you had communicated them as clearly as possible—and yet, some guests still ignore them.

I can guarantee that one sure way to make most B&B owners grumpy is for a guest to turn up very early or very late without warning.

Early arrivals sometimes walked in while I was in the middle of cleaning—unshowered, hands down a toilet, with the guest room in complete disarray. Ideally, I wanted guests to arrive when their room was spotless and looking as if no one had ever stayed in it before.

Late arrivals who didn’t let me know in advance meant staying up late, missing social plans, or even not knowing when to cook my own dinner! Many B&B owners I knew find it hard to relax until all their guests have checked in.

When guests arrived early, I had to try very hard not to say, “Oh, you’re a bit early.” I knew that if I did, I’d end up overcompensating for it for the rest of their stay. If the room was ready, I’d check them in. If not, I’d explain it wasn’t quite finished and let them know we’d prioritise getting it done by a certain time.

In my experience, most guests read the terms and conditions and were happy to comply. But there were always some who didn’t. At that point, it was important not to take it personally.

There are many reasons your guests arrive early. They might have overestimated how long the journey would take. They might be desperate for the loo, not feeling well, or simply not great travellers. Some are nervous about whether the B&B would be as good as it looked online. Others are just really excited about their stay!

In those moments, I learned to draw on the inner resilience every B&B owner needs and greet them with my best smile.

Setting Boundaries at Your Bed and Breakfast From the Start

I learned the hard way that thinking clearly about boundaries before setting up or buying a B&B is essential. The same applies to anyone running a B&B now—it’s important to establish boundaries from the start, but also to allow flexibility as your life evolves.

For example, if late-night arrivals are a no-go for you (I was the same—I was in bed by 9!), then you might need to reconsider buying a B&B that primarily serves as a stopover for guests arriving from an airport or ferry terminal.

If you struggle with very early mornings (my breakfast times were 8:30-10), then a B&B catering mainly to business guests or long-distance walkers might not be the best fit.

But life changes, and the way you run your B&B may need to change too. That cute five-year-old who loved welcoming guests might one day turn into a grumpy teenager who wants nothing to do with them. Or, as in my case, the friendly, guest-loving B&B dogs might eventually be replaced by new dogs who aren’t so keen on strangers wandering onto the property.

By setting the right boundaries—and being willing to adjust them when needed—B&B owners can ensure they have enough time to rest and recharge, so they have the energy to give their best to their guests while still making space for their own evolving lives.

If you’re just starting out on your B&B journey and feeling overwhelmed, my mini-workshop on how to start a B&B is the perfect first step. It covers most of the questions that aspiring B&B owners have before they dive into B&B ownership, including whether it's the right step for you and your family. And if you’re ready to take things further, my full course dives deep into everything from marketing to managing your business with confidence. Visit Bed and Breakfast Academy to learn more and take the next step toward your B&B success!