If you ever attended one of my in-person B&B courses, you’ll remember the chimp well! While I no longer run classroom courses, I now offer comprehensive online training that covers everything you need to know about starting, running, and marketing a successful B&B—without having to leave your home (or deal with difficult guests in person just yet!). You can find out more about my online courses here.

If you're wondering whether running a B&B is the right move for you (and your chimp), check out this blog post here.

What is the B&B Chimp?

The B&B chimp is based on The Chimp Paradox by Professor Steve Peters, a fascinating book that explains how different parts of the brain influence our emotions.

Professor Peters breaks it down into three parts:

• The Human – The rational part of your brain, which works with facts and logic.
• The Computer – The part that stores habits and learned behaviours.
• The Chimp – The emotional, impulsive side that often reacts before thinking.

The chimp is the part of your brain that flares up when things don’t go your way. As a B&B owner, you’ll meet plenty of situations where your chimp is desperate to take over.

A Real-Life Example: When Your Chimp Wants to Scream at a Guest

Picture this: You’ve poured your heart and soul into creating a wonderful B&B experience. Guests love your place, leave glowing reviews, and everything is running smoothly. Then, it happens...

A new guest arrives, scowling.

You put on your best smile and greet them.

"We've been driving around for hours! Your B&B is impossible to find. You should have sent an email with directions. Every other hotel I’ve ever stayed in does!"

Now, you know you sent that email. Without it, no one would find you—the satnav code covers the whole village, and you don’t have a sign up.

"I’m so sorry! It must have gone into your spam or junk folder," you say, keeping your voice calm.

"You did NOT send me an email. I checked!"

Uh-oh. Your chimp is now elbowing its way in, jumping up and down, yelling, "She’s calling you a liar!"

The wise B&B owner takes a deep breath, smiles, and says:
"I’m really sorry you didn’t receive it. I’ll check as soon as I’ve shown you to your room."

Your chimp, however, wants to argue. It wants to explain how internet service providers sometimes block emails before they even reach spam folders. But the guest doesn’t care.

You finally show them to their room and retreat to your computer. You check your sent emails—there it is. Your chimp really wants to print it out, march back to their room, and wave it in their face with a smug, "See? I was right!"

But you resist.

The guest leaves a less-than-glowing review. And to make things worse, that night, your chimp keeps you awake, replaying the whole thing in a never-ending argument.

Why Your Chimp is Louder in Peak Season

As I write this, it’s August—peak season. Most of my past course attendees are in the middle of back-to-back bookings, and I see plenty of chimp-fuelled rants in our private Facebook group!

The problem? A busy season is physically and emotionally draining. Your patience wears thin, and when something goes wrong, it’s harder to stay calm.

I’ve been running my B&B for 15 years, and I still have to manage my chimp. Right now, I’m in the middle of an 18-day stretch with no days off (not sure how that happened!). Normally, I schedule a break every week to recharge. When I don’t, my chimp has way too much control.

Luckily, most of my guests this month are repeat visitors, so I should be safe. Though I did realise, 30 minutes after check-in, that I’d left their kettle full of vinegar after descaling it. Oops. Fortunately, they were the type to laugh about it over breakfast.

How to Keep Your Chimp Under Control as a B&B Owner

Managing your chimp takes practice, but here are a few things that help:

1. Recognise When Your Chimp is Taking Over
   Self-awareness is key. If you feel yourself getting emotional over a guest complaint, take a step back and acknowledge that your chimp is trying to take charge.

2. Try Meditation
   I meditate for 10 minutes every day. It helps me detach from situations and stay calm. If you struggle with mindfulness, apps like Headspace or Calm can help.

3. Use a Physical Reminder
   If you’re someone who gets carried away in the moment, wearing a rubber band on your wrist and giving it a quick ping can snap you out of chimp mode.

4. Breathe and Ground Yourself
   In a face-to-face situation, take a deep breath and put your hand on your stomach before responding. This can stop your chimp from blurting out something you’ll regret.

5. Remove Yourself From the Situation
   If your chimp is on the verge of taking over, say, "Let me look into that, and I’ll get back to you ASAP." This gives you time to calm down before responding.

6. Let Your Chimp Out in a Safe Space
   Professor Peters actually recommends exercising your chimp to wear it out. This is where a trusted friend or private Facebook group for fellow B&B owners can be invaluable—vent there, not in front of your guests.

7. Be Careful on Social Media
   I’ve seen B&B owners complain about guests on public social media profiles. Big mistake. You never know who’s watching! If you need to vent, do it somewhere private.

Final Thoughts

Running a B&B is rewarding, but it can also be frustrating. There will always be difficult guests, and your chimp will always want to have the last word.

But the more you learn to manage it, the happier you—and your guests—will be.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to check whether I’ve left vinegar in today’s guests' kettle...